Yep - been there, done that, still occasionally have nightmares about it, 30 years on; though in my case, it was working with horses, rather than as a pro musician. I ended up feeling as though I was their slave, and hated the sight of them. Getting out of it was a good move, and I only wish I'd done it sooner than I did. For several years, I didn't even want to look at a horse, let alone have anything to do with them. But several years later, when I'd just got an ordinary, 9-5, humdrum job, I started riding again, and thoroughly enjoyed it. No pressure, no demands, none of the relentlessness of having to think about them, and be responsible for them, every waking minute. Now, if I want to ride, I go to the yard, pay the bill, enjoy the ride, and walk away. If I don't feel like going, I don't.Jhereg wrote: ↑Tue Apr 10, 2018 6:21 pmIn other news. I think it's time to admit I've burnt out on being a musician. Don't feel obligated to respond or convince me otherwise or anything, I'm just thinking out loud. Kind of wish this really were a bar, I feel like this is something to be discussed over a beer.
And I remember when I ended up working for a multi-national company; supposedly a 'good job', with prospects, etc, etc, etc - but they treated their staff like cannon fodder. I used to wake up in the morning, think about going there, and groan. It was run on the 'just in time' basis - which meant if anything went wrong, everyone was tearing their hair out, because there was no slack in the system at all. One morning, I went in and was told that a bloke called Bob had been rushed into hospital after a massive heart attack. I was shocked, but not surprised - he was the production manager, and his job was to "get it out by Friday". So guess who took the brunt of the chaos when "just in time" became "OVERDUE!" ? That's right - Bob. He was just 41.
That night, I started looking for another job. Two weeks later, they sacked me - "not temperamentally suited to the company's ethos". Damn right, I wasn't! I walked up the road with my severance pay in my pocket, feeling as though I'd been let out of prison!
I believe it was Artie Shaw who was phoned up one day by his agent who had yet another string of bookings for him. Shaw said forget it, and intimated that if he had to play 'Begin the Beguine' once more, he wouldn't be held accountable for his actions. The agent pressed him, and asked what he was supposed to say to the people who wanted to book him. Shaw said "Tell them I'm insane."
"How do you mean?", asked his agent.
Shaw replied "If an all-American boy turns down a lot of money, wouldn't you say that he was insane?"
Sometimes, Megan, in order to take good care of yourself, you have to let the rest of the world go hang. Those who care about you will cut you all the slack you need, and still be there for you. Those who won't are no loss.