TromboneChat

I live in a very rural area, with lots of farms and ranches. A mile away is one called the Lazy Dog Ranch (LDR), and they have cows. I've seen various videos of trombone players playing for cows, and every day when I drive past those cows at LDR I think about bringing my horn and serenading them.









My question is, what should I play for them? And what does a gig like this pay?

LolAnything that sounds like a trombone. I've done it, they always come and they are a very greatful audience.
Scales, arpeggios and long tones, they love everything even bad playing.

/Tom

imsevimse wrote: Wed Jan 15, 2025 4:25 pm They love everything even bad playing.

Perfect!

They would gather and party, especially if wine was involved. Perhaps serve them a nice moo-low.

Anything but black coffee, that’s bad for business.

Perhaps any of the cheesy standards?

Mr412 wrote: Wed Jan 15, 2025 5:41 pm They would gather and party, especially if wine was involved. Perhaps serve them a nice moo-low.

That's udderly ridiculous

We're milking this one for all it's worth!

Somehow I'm getting the feeling you folks aren't taking me seriously. I'm hoping to steer this back in the right direction. I have no beef with you, but I do have a steak in preventing this thread devolving into a bunch of bull.

Way to take the bull by the horns, tbdana!

What about takes by other animals?

My family's dogs tend to howl and bark along when I play.
Cats hide or just ignore.

tbdana wrote: Thu Jan 16, 2025 8:48 am Somehow I'm getting the feeling you folks aren't taking me seriously. I'm hoping to steer this back in the right direction. I have no beef with you, but I do have a steak in preventing this thread devolving into a bunch of bull.

Holy cow! You folks are milking this for all it's worth. You may believe that these observations are legen-dairy, perhaps even udderly hilarious - but I'm not amoosed. Dana, I think it's pasture bedtime!

Anything in Beef Flat, that’s their most moosical key.

I teach elementary school students.

A cow's favorite composer has to be Mooodest Mooossorgsky.

They brought their horns, maybe they want to sit in.
Jersey Bounce
So Rare
Speak Low
Moo'd Indigo
Hornithology
Cow Cow Boogie

Moossorgsky was from MosCOW. American cows' taste in moosic composers may be a little more esoteric (and domestic) - I think they'd moove to COWlifornia native Henry COWell.

Here in California we have earthquakes. What happens to the cows during these tremors? Milkshakes!

This is all udder nonsense!

Only slightly related - my dog hates my trombone Maybe I should get a cow instead?

Posaunus wrote: Thu Jan 16, 2025 11:08 pm Moossorgsky was from MosCOW.

I think you misspelled Moooscow.

The scholarly study of cowbells is called Mooosicowlogy.

AndrewMeronek wrote: Mon Jan 27, 2025 7:08 am

Posaunus wrote: Thu Jan 16, 2025 11:08 pm Moossorgsky was from MosCOW.

I think you misspelled Moooscow.

Moose-cow? Been there, done that...

I've never personally seen any evidence that cows (at least Angus cows) care about music at all. I'm skeptical of attributing much awareness to cows in general.

But there is a long-standing tradition of playing music for dairy cows at milking time, and a belief that this increases milk production (though if you think about that for a moment it doesn't seem to make sense -- the cows not actually producing milk during the milking, but only delivering it). I also suspect that you'd get the same result from dairy cows by playing Chicago Cubs baseball games for them (or games of any other team for that matter). Canadian cows may prefer hockey, but I'm being purely speculative about that.

However, not to overlook the possibility of rigorously acquired scientific evidence, there is this "studies have shown" article (don't you love those things?) that would appear to indicate -- if you don't dig too deeply into the methodology -- that cows do prefer certain music, and some indication that they rather like Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony and Simon & Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water. Based on this, the article (ever so scientific) then suggests that "fast country music" may be bad for cows and that "easy listening" music or "smooth jazz" might be good. Probably not what you wanted to hear, but cows are cows.

"Music to My Ears"
https://www.petmd.com/blogs/thedailyvet ... cows-29895

I'm tired of all this cattle music conversation.
Though I'm from a dairy family, part of my ancestry is Scottish - via New Zealand!
So I must ask - how do sheep react to music?
And please don't reply that this is a baad question to pose.

It's not baad, but it is a bit fuzzy.

Posaunus wrote: Mon Jan 27, 2025 4:25 pm I'm tired of all this cattle music conversation.
Though I'm from a dairy family, part of my ancestry is Scottish - via New Zealand!
So I must ask - how do sheep react to music?
And please don't reply that this is a baad question to pose.

I could tell you the joke about the Rolling Stone, the Scotsman and the sheep, but this is a family chatroom.

Never played for our Black Angus, maybe I’ll open a window in back of the house this summer and play out the window towards ours. Son used to play his baritone for our horses years ago, we had 2 Arab/Quarter mix horses at the time, they would stop with whoever was on them and listen. Scales, band music, whatever seemed fine with them!

Yes, we name our cows. Yes, we eat them. Usually with a fork.

BrassSection wrote: Tue Jan 28, 2025 5:15 pm ...

Yes, we name our cows. Yes, we eat them. Usually with a fork.

I hope at least you cut them up first

We were playing a concert band performance at the New Hampshire Veterans' Home. We were on a back patio facing a large field. Our conductor was facing us with her back to the field. Each tune we played, a number of cows collected at the fence watching (and probably listening). As soon as the tune stopped the cows disappeared. A lot of the band members thought this was humorous and started laughing. The conductor tried to find out what was happening, but always missed the cows.

From
https://wisconsinhistory.org/Records/Image/IM2115

"The Ingenues, an all-girl band and vaudeville act, serenading the cows in the University of Wisconsin-Madison Dairy Barn in a scientific test of whether the cows would give more milk to the soothing strains of music. "

dwcarder wrote: Wed Jan 29, 2025 6:49 am ... in a scientific test ... "

In the article: "The original caption indicates that the cows were too surprised at the unusual treat to react in the way expected."

Interesting description of a "scientific test". Not sure whether to interpret that as an observation, hypothesis, or conclusion.

My wife, a long-time horse lover (and we had horses for about 30 years) has been fond of saying "Horses have only two neurons -- one for food and one for sex." I'm pretty confident that cows have only the food neuron. The bulls have two. Of course, that's a fairly unscientific estimate based purely on my own observation -- though probably as reliable as the aforementioned "scientific test".

Okay, possibly it's a bit more complicated than that ... as anyone knows, who has ever come between a cow and her calf.

ghmerrill wrote: Wed Jan 29, 2025 7:14 amwho has ever come between a cow and her calf.

Well there was a bull...

For those who might be interested:



The music in that video isn't very good and needs more trombone.

dwcarder wrote: Wed Jan 29, 2025 6:49 am

"The Ingenues, an all-girl band and vaudeville act, serenading the cows in the University of Wisconsin-Madison Dairy Barn in a scientific test of whether the cows would give more milk to the soothing strains of music. "

Gotta love the barn outfits - dresses and high heels!

Cows don't care about what you play but they want you to play it grazioso.

Posaunus wrote: Wed Jan 29, 2025 10:01 am

dwcarder wrote: Wed Jan 29, 2025 6:49 am

"The Ingenues, an all-girl band and vaudeville act, serenading the cows in the University of Wisconsin-Madison Dairy Barn in a scientific test of whether the cows would give more milk to the soothing strains of music. "

Gotta love the barn outfits - dresses and high heels!

I don’t know what kind of music cows like but the woman playing the curved bell straight saxophone is playing what is now a valuable collectible instrument.

TomWest wrote: Wed Jan 29, 2025 3:15 pm

Posaunus wrote: Wed Jan 29, 2025 10:01 am Gotta love the barn outfits - dresses and high heels!

I don’t know what kind of music cows like but the woman playing the curved bell straight saxophone is playing what is now a valuable collectible instrument.

How about the right-hand valve horn - and the grip she's employing? Is that what in junior high school we used to call a "concert" mellophone (stepping stone to a "French" horn)?

Posaunus wrote: Wed Jan 29, 2025 3:25 pmHow about the right-hand valve horn - and the grip she's employing? Is that what in junior high school we used to call a "concert" mellophone (stepping stone to a "French" horn)?

It's hard to tell from that image, but I think you're right. Mellophone/circular alto.

In related news . . .

Bluegrass?

JohnL wrote: Wed Jan 29, 2025 4:23 pm It's hard to tell from that image, but I think you're right. Mellophone/circular alto.

Yes, it's hard to tell from the picture. I do wonder if it isn't just a regular French horn that she's holding backwards for the sake of the pose in the photo.

ghmerrill wrote: Thu Jan 30, 2025 8:34 am

JohnL wrote: Wed Jan 29, 2025 4:23 pm It's hard to tell from that image, but I think you're right. Mellophone/circular alto.

Yes, it's hard to tell from the picture. I do wonder if it isn't just a regular French horn that she's holding backwards for the sake of the pose in the photo.

What details I can make out are consistent with an angled valve mellophone like this Conn 4E
https://cderksen.home.xs4all.nl/Conn4E1930image.html

JohnL wrote: Thu Jan 30, 2025 9:55 am

ghmerrill wrote: Thu Jan 30, 2025 8:34 am
Yes, it's hard to tell from the picture. I do wonder if it isn't just a regular French horn that she's holding backwards for the sake of the pose in the photo.

What details I can make out are consistent with an angled valve mellophone like this Conn 4E
https://cderksen.home.xs4all.nl/Conn4E1930image.html

Or perhaps an Olds circular mellophone from the 1950s? (Hard to tell whether these valves are angled.)

Posaunus wrote: Thu Jan 30, 2025 10:31 am

JohnL wrote: Thu Jan 30, 2025 9:55 am
What details I can make out are consistent with an angled valve mellophone like this Conn 4E
https://cderksen.home.xs4all.nl/Conn4E1930image.html

Or perhaps an Olds circular mellophone from the 1950s? (Hard to tell whether these valves are angled.)

The image was published in 1930, so it wouldn't be an Olds.
https://wisconsinhistory.org/Records/Image/IM2115

JohnL wrote: Thu Jan 30, 2025 10:40 am

Posaunus wrote: Thu Jan 30, 2025 10:31 am Or perhaps an Olds circular mellophone from the 1950s? (Hard to tell whether these valves are angled.)

The image was published in 1930, so it wouldn't be an Olds.
https://wisconsinhistory.org/Records/Image/IM2115

Good detective work, John.

BGuttman wrote: Tue Jan 28, 2025 5:54 pm

I hope at least you cut them up first


Local butcher does that, after the cow has hung in the cooler for 3 weeks. Grass fed beef is tougher if you don’t let them age.

How do I like my steak? Right next to my other steak!

Bull-ero.

They even have music festivals like Cowachella and Stagecowch.

For the more contemporary bovine audience, there's always "The Bum Steer."

Just whatever mooooves them.