TromboneChat

Saw a gun meme the other day that stated “If you know how many guns you have, you don’t have enough.” While I’m not advocating anything about guns here, it begs the question, does that principle apply to horns and mouthpieces?

I keep a spreadsheet of mine.

I don't think the basic idea behind the quote in the meme is applicable to trombones and mouthpieces.

At one time when I was earning money playing part-time weeknights and weekends I had 10 bass trombones. I remember how many because they were all on my homeowners insurance policy. I might have had three dozen mouthpieces and two dozen leadpipes around that same time but I'm not really sure about the count. FYI, this was when I was in my 30s to late 40s.

NOW I have 3 horns, about 12-14 leadpipes and maybe 12 mouthpieces not including "junkers." My priorities have changed but I would say I have "enough" to do what I do, have backups, and not feel the pangs of "Oh, if only I had another" fill in the blank.

This topic got me to thinking about how hanging on the certain horns, mouthpieces and leadpipes can be useful in certain musical situations. I play middle-of-the-road equipment. Recently I had a stick waiver ask that I give them "more sound" so I changed my leadpipe. Might have made me sound louder or changed their perception of how loud I was playing but it did the trick.

Never know that you might need to pull a different tool out of the box.

I also don't know how many mutes I have. And I just bought two more today.

Have enough?

That's what I say to my cat, every time she drops another rodent in the middle of the room.

.

I don't know how many horns I've got, or how many stands, leadpipes or mouthpieces I've got, but I do know I have enough. Sometimes when I can't find a particular horn in the collection I stumble across horns I do not remember I own, then I play that other horn instead. People always want to know how many horns I've got and my simple answer is "I don't tell, but it is enough"

/Tom

GabrielRice wrote: ↑Tue Oct 31, 2023 7:48 pm I also don't know how many mutes I have. And I just bought two more today.

What did you get? That trapani mute everybody is talking about?

harrisonreed wrote: ↑Wed Nov 01, 2023 6:56 am

GabrielRice wrote: ↑Tue Oct 31, 2023 7:48 pm I also don't know how many mutes I have. And I just bought two more today.

What did you get? That trapani mute everybody is talking about?

Nope, just a couple of used Wick mutes for my studio.

Have enough? I've got too many for sure.

I try to keep away from the hoarding side of things. I try to have one great horn for each style of playing I do. But I admit, things get away from me, and sometimes I get stuff just because I like it.

For example, for small bore playing, I have the Getzen 3508r, but I also have a 3b, 48h, Olds Recording and modified 32h. They are all my favorites for different things.

I've got a 79h for whatever you might need a 79h for. And you can use a 79h for almost anything.

And an 8h and 88h because sometimes you need that. 8h for orchestral lead type stuff, and the 88h for anything that isn't small, medium bore or bass. The 88h was my original horn from school, so I can't get rid of that.

And of course a Kanstul 1662i for bass bone, and a Holton 159 w/plug in valve for backup.

And then of course you need valve instruments. My Olds flugabone is the one horn I don't have a real need for, but I wind up using it quite a bit for impromptu outdoor concerts playing jazz standards mostly.

I've never been asked to play euphonium except by my wife, so I have that for her. And then a 24i for backup, of course.

And a tuba. Not sure I have a good reason for owning a tuba. but I do get asked to play it around Christmas a couple of times.

Desert island? Maybe the 79h or the 88h w/525. If I had to trim to 3, probably 3508, 88h w/525 and Kanstul.

This may sum up some people…seems to be especially true with some guitar players I know.

Steal a man’s wallet and he will be poor for 4 weeks.
Teach him music and how to buy instruments and he will be poor his entire life.

Then there is the question “How many instruments do you need?” The answer is always “Just one more.”

For me the just one more is a flugalhorn. Would slot in nice between the trumpet and tenor trombone…but do I NEED it? Not enough to justify the price of a decent one.

I pared my arsenal down to a .509 small bore tenor with F, .547 large bore tenor with F, an independent double valve .562 bass, and a student .500 small bore horn for parades. I can't think of any playing situation I might run across that one of them couldn't handle. At one time I had double this amount, but most of them just sat and got musty so they went bye-bye when I moved.

I have too many mouthpieces... 7 or 8 are sitting unused. This could easily be about 12...

But for the time being I have enough instruments. My "just in case" horns are:
JP 274 comp euphonium. Haven't had a chance to play it in public yet. Could be useful in quintet aside from the obvious concert band use.
Conn 6H, for when I need to sit in for a big band opportunity that puts me on 1st-3rd.
Holton 168, for concert band and jazz band 3rd parts that dive into the trigger range.

And obviously my main instruments are my tuba and bass trombone.

I have, however, thought about "+1"... A couple of King instruments (a silver plated 2268 American baritone labeled as a 2266 at Dillon Music, and a lacquered 2280 euphonium at the tuba exchange) have caught my eye. A double horn has also been a possibility in the back of my mind, though there seems to be enough horn players in my area to cover the parts.

One of my concert bands has trouble holding on to trumpet players, and I'd possibly consider it if I weren't the only reliable tuba player in both concert bands.

I have 5 bones, a euph and a trumpet. Pbones don't count full value (2) (on sale).
For now, it is enough.
But.........

On the topic of the OP: Guns eh? I always thought it was funny in the old games when your guy would carry like ten guns, including a rocket launcher and the BFG-9000. Whoever thinks that way has never had to carry even one gun and ammunition around. You know how much 600 rounds of 7.62 NATO weighs?

One gun is too many in my opinion.

Trombones, well....

Maybe five is too many.

A couple of high school students were talking about getting new horns, maybe even one with an F attachment the other day. I was explaining to one of their mothers that the average trombone has no valves, but some have one or two. Then somebody that knew me mentioned that I have a lot of horns. Off the top of my head I counted about 20 valves in various states of assembly around the house….

Not sure what the number is, but I’m sure I have more than enough.

That said, anybody got a pair of Rotaxes or Caidex hanging around?
Andy

I feel called out

I have the same smount of guns as horns. Every possible situation is covered.

Perhaps there should be a background check and waiting period (cooling off period?) required for buying trombones, mouthpieces, cases, leadpipes, mutes, bone stands... Those that have a trombonechat id card can bypass the check and waiting period.

But if you get an ID card, then you'll be on a list, and you know where that goes ... <insert images of meeting in dimly lit parking lots to exchange unregistered trombones and parts>

I confess that I currently own one unregistered trombone.

I only have 37!

ghmerrill wrote: ↑Tue Dec 26, 2023 8:59 am But if you get an ID card, then you'll be on a list, and you know where that goes ... <insert images of meeting in dimly lit parking lots to exchange unregistered trombones and parts>

I confess that I currently own one unregistered trombone.

If trombones are outlawed, only outlaws will have trombones.

I never have enough mouthpieces!

No, I do not have enough trombones, mouthpieces, or mutes. Books and music, on the other hand…

I went through a period a couple of years ago of selling stuff, thinking “I’ll never use this again.” It was a kind of Swedish Death Cleaning/Marie Kondo mode before we moved to a smaller house. Now I can’t find some mouthpieces I swore I’d never get rid of!

If that's all you can't find, you're doing just fine.

I just realized I have 3 basses, 3 Japanese and 2 Chinese tenors, 1 alto, 1 baritone horn, 1 alto horn, 2 bass trumpets, 1 rotary flugelhorn, and 1 Kaiserbariton, not counting 2 plastic trombones.

Which is not that many comparing to some here, but it is weird in a country that salary base is much lower than in Europe or the USA, and even professionals normally have 2 or 3 horns at most. And I am not a professional in any way.

I should sell some of my horns.

Yeah. The alto horn is excessive.

harrisonreed wrote: ↑Fri Dec 22, 2023 6:06 pm On the topic of the OP: Guns eh? I always thought it was funny in the old games when your guy would carry like ten guns, including a rocket launcher and the BFG-9000. Whoever thinks that way has never had to carry even one gun and ammunition around. You know how much 600 rounds of 7.62 NATO weighs?

One gun is too many in my opinion.

Trombones, well....

Maybe five is too many.

Well then you’ll love the post that states he has as many guns as trombones.

I have more horns than I need. Do I need more? No. Do I still buy more? Yes.

Same goes for mouthpieces, lead pipes, and mutes (Ilan’s Morningstar mutes have been calling to me) At least with these I tend to give them to long time students at certain points if I am not using them and they need them.

I would love to have my wife would read this post... except for the part about the background check and cooling off period...

jbeatenbough wrote: ↑Tue Dec 26, 2023 8:16 am Perhaps there should be a background check and waiting period (cooling off period?) required for buying trombones, mouthpieces, cases, leadpipes, mutes, bone stands... Those that have a trombonechat id card can bypass the check and waiting period.

This of course would vary state-by-state. Some would probably have very liberal concealed trombone laws; others would require monitoring by a bureaucratic oversight agency.

This may ensure background checks…why would my French horn playing daughter send me this??


Maybe this is why my trumpet friend encourages me to put down my trombone and play my trumpet when he joins our group! His quote “Everyone knows - when there's a trombone involved - someone's going to get hurt!!“

Posaunus wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2024 3:18 pm

jbeatenbough wrote: ↑Tue Dec 26, 2023 8:16 am Perhaps there should be a background check and waiting period (cooling off period?) required for buying trombones, mouthpieces, cases, leadpipes, mutes, bone stands... Those that have a trombonechat id card can bypass the check and waiting period.

This of course would vary state-by-state. Some would probably have very liberal concealed trombone laws; others would require monitoring by a bureaucratic oversight agency.

What about NFA trombones? Would a practice mute need an NFA tax stamp? I imagine that cut bell trombones would need one too.

This is going too far. I don't have enough room in the safe for trombones.

ghmerrill wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2024 5:22 pm This is going too far. I don't have enough room in the safe for trombones.

Well, Looks like we’re gonna need a bigger safe.

elmsandr wrote: ↑Wed Jan 17, 2024 6:13 am Looks like we’re gonna need a bigger safe.

But not going there. For one thing, I quickly discovered that, like nature, safes abhor a vacuum. So if you have more room in them, you just acquire more stuff to put in them.

Now this looks like an accident looking for a place to happen!

Yeah, I've seen that before. But if you want a real Sax Cavalry trombone, here's one you can buy:
https://www.virtuosityboston.com/adolph ... -1895.html

I have enough horns for my needs, I can only play one horn at a time. Once or twice I have switched from low brass to trumpet during a song as it builds, but still only one at a time. Now on the other hand, my 55 Ford tractor wouldn’t mind a companion…one without a bucket loader and with 4WD preferably…

BrassSection wrote: ↑Thu Jan 18, 2024 12:28 pm my 55 Ford tractor wouldn’t mind a companion…one without a bucket loader and with 4WD preferably…

I used to have a 58 Massey-Harris (4 cyl gas), but sold it to a local mechanic who's still using it. Went to a gray market 74 Yanmar 1700 (2 cyl diesel) -- which is too small for me. My wife didn't like having to steer the larger Massey (rotator cuff issues), and the Yanmar is smaller. But it kind of scares me to handle it on a slope, even with the wheels turned out. "Rice paddy tractor" aptly describes it. It's a delight to service and the engine is bullet proof. No plugs, no carb, basically no ignition system. Just barely big enough for the 4' Howse cutter. The little engine that could.

Old Ford has a Massey Ferguson bucket loader on…without power steering! 4 cyl 40 horses, does my heavy lifting for me. Those 200 pound protein tubs for the cows aren’t getting any lighter as I season! 550 lbs of weight on each rear tire, the old reliable has a lot of lifting power!

We've wished we had a front loader for decades -- even though we'd use it infrequently. I do miss the 38 hp of the Massey compared to 17 hp of the Yanmar. I don't have weights on the rear. But I've got as much weight as I could fit on the front -- or with the mower on, the front wheels would be in the air. We only have 6.5 acres. No cows -- except for the occasions when some wander through the wire at the back of our property. We used to have horses (not for me!). They finally expired after about 30 years, resulting in a significant increase of otherwise disposable income.

ghmerrill wrote: ↑Thu Jan 18, 2024 6:29 pm ... a significant increase of otherwise "disposable income."

"Disposable income?" What's that?

My (fixed) retirement income is already spoken for!

Posaunus wrote: ↑Fri Jan 19, 2024 7:33 pm My (fixed) retirement income is already spoken for!

So you've chosen collecting trombones rather than supporting largely useless beasts with feed and medical bills. A wise choice. Luckily the herbivores decided to pack it in a bit before I retired.